Two nil up at half time…

Random bleakness from today’s run.

It’s all gone a bit Leyton Orient.

Last week I ran my fastest 10k race (1:10:14) on Saturday, my second fastest ever half marathon as a training run on Monday (2:42:24) and equalled my 5k PB on Wednesday (33:53) despite being knackered and having a bit of a hangover. I was poised to take over the world, or at least have a proper crack at the result that really matters, the half marathon.

And then the cancellations started flying in. Crete was already cancelled, but I had Aintree, Hertfordshire and Olympic Park to look forward to, then Brighton and Surrey next Spring. Then Liverpool went into tier 3 lockdown, and even thought Aintree hasn’t been cancelled yet it would be irresponsible for me to go there especially as it’s a week before seeing my elderly relatives for Christmas. Olympic Park has been turned into a 5/10k. Worst of all, Brighton has been postponed and I’ve deferred my entry to 2022. 2021’s date would have been the 5 year anniversary of my 2016 PB and I could clearly see in my minds eye that would be the date when I finally cracked it. It would have made the perfect blog post. But it was not to be.

Now I only have Hertfordshire and Surrey left and I wouldn’t put money on either of them going ahead. I’m feeling utterly miserable and deflated. I know I should know by now that life is not fair, that working hard and doing things right does not earn rewards and than the exact moment that you think you have something in the bag is the moment it all falls apart. I also know a lot of people have far bigger things to worry about than a stupid running race. (Probably including me.) But it’s all I can think about.

I think from now on I am going to focus on shorter runs and getting my 10k under 70 minutes as this is less likely to end in disappointment. Although the prospect of 52.75 laps of Mile End track seems oddly tempting, and would settle the question in my mind – can I do it? Can I beat that 5 year old PB? If I can’t do it on a track I certainly wouldn’t be able to do it in a race…

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